social media

Social (Media) Distancing

/ Devon L. Miller / Leave a comment

Image of COVID-19 virus with Facebook and Twitter logos.Wait! Before you go, this is not another puffed up think piece about how social media makes our outlook worse. How, we’d all feel better if we put down our phones and walked away from the click-bait, so here’s my preachy internet content about how everyone should walk away from social media and internet content.  I don’t give a third of a turd about that. No. What I care about, what is bothering me perhaps more than it should, is that social distancing/self quarantine due to COVID-19 is making social media too damned social.

That’s right. All of you extroverted, day-dwelling social butterflies have been cruelly thrust into a world of pandemic where public gatherings are a really bad idea. The introverts’ world. So now, with nowhere else to go, you have flooded social media like the roof collapsed over the cool table and now you have to sit with the nerds in the cafeteria. Yeah, we don’t like it either.

See, we haven’t heard from you in months (because we don’t do meatspace and, with the exception of tagged pictures from your last major life event, your social accounts have been dormant), and now you want to pop in to the comments section with pearls of internet wisdom?! We already know the warnings, proverbs, and mantras because we were here learning them firsthand while you were living lives out in the fresh air. Like, of course you can’t trust everything you see on the internet, Karen. I was out here lookin’ like a fool with my own knee-jerk, reactionary sharing of unvetted memes when you were still trying to figure out how to pronounce the word meme. Yeah, I know the internet is an ugly place, Barb. You think I’m writing this to be a better person? Everyone who’s been here with any frequency at all knows that I’m fishing for the validation that comes from the clicks and the likes that I’ll say anything to get.

What’s worse? You all actually seem to want to connect, to use the internet in the manner it was intended. WTF is that?! That’s not how this works. How it works is:

  1. Shout your opinions, grievances, and whatever else is on your mind to the world from behind your computer
  2. Hide, delete, block any responses you don’t like or don’t want to see
  3. Walk away feeling like you’ve contributed something and really taken a stand
  4. But ultimately do nothing.

Damn, Gina! Get with the program!

Y’all make me wish I could go outside and walk anonymously through crowded streets.

I suppose, instead, that I could be a leader here, walk you through this new world that caters more to my introverted kind than your extroverted one.  As the meme goes, Check on your extrovert friends because they are not okay. But, nah. I don’t owe you that. The only thing a truly misanthropic introvert can do in this situation is leave social media. It’s gotten too people-y in here and I MUST escape.

So, take this as my grand, dramatic declaration that I’m leaving social media in a virtual flurry of skirts and flip of the hair and staying gone for the foreseeable future, which may be two minutes, two hours, two months, or as long as it takes me to compose a really hot tweet.

Oh, you’re not familiar with this trend? You really haven’t been here in a while.

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PSA: We’ve had some fun here today, but misinformation and disinformation on the internet are real problems in situations like the one in which we find ourselves. Ignorance leads to fear and panic (and I’m pretty sure there’s something about hate and the Dark Side, too), so for credible information, see CDC Coronavirus (COVID-19).

It’s Been a While

/ Devon L. Miller / 5 Comments

Hello all. It’s been a while since my last post and I figured it was time for an update lest anyone think I succumbed to the frustration of the job search, walked into the woods, and never came back out again.

While there hasn’t been a big, blog worthy event, there have been a few things worth noting and some thoughts clinking around in my brain. You have been warned. Read on at your own risk.

The Work In Progress

In my last post I talked about how I was having trouble settling on a novel to write. I considered whether I had a fear of commitment when it came to novel writing. Well, I have finally committed to a tale. I’m excited about it. I hope the excitement sticks.

The Ugly Side of the Internet

Social media, and much of the internet in general, gets ugly(er) during an election year. It just does. I’ve come to terms with it, and while I wish people could be a bit more civil in their discussions, at least the discussions are happening. That said, there’s only so much vitriol I can take before I hear a primal rage scream that, as it turns out, is coming from me. My sanity benefits greatly from closing the laptop, silencing the notifications on my devices, and walking into the woods—threatening never to return.

Unfortunately, election year also coincides with my search for full time employment. Given the kind of work I’m looking for, it’s not the best time to slash my internet time. Now’s the time to prove I’m a social media goddess who navigates the digital world with ease and panache. I need to be expanding my presence, not narrowing it. So, I spend a few minutes here, a few minutes there, and refuse to engage in the outrage, which brings me to…

Can We Please Talk About the Toddler?

Look, I’m not going to rehash the whole story about Harambe and the Cincinnati Zoo. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve heard it. I’m not going to talk about the perceived negligence of the mother of the child who fell into the gorilla enclosure, nor will I discuss the merits of tranquilizer darts vs. bullets, or whether Harambe was protecting the child, or whether zoos should be shut down. Instead, I’d like to focus on the little boy.

Imagine, for a second, growing up knowing that there were people outraged about the decision to save your life. Imagine growing up knowing that a large number of people valued the life of a gorilla (that they probably hadn’t even heard of previously) more than yours. Doesn’t feel very good, does it? Of course I’m sad about Harambe, but my heart breaks for the child.

I just hope this child is being shielded from the outrage and that things on the internet maybe can disappear after all, buried under the newest news of the day, because if I had to live with the evidence of how little people valued my life, well…

I’d walk into the woods and never come back out again.

Is There Such a Thing as Social Media Anxiety Disorder?

/ Devon L. Miller / 10 Comments

We all know that social anxiety disorder is a very real thing. It’s crippling to those who suffer from it, and it’s hard to watch a loved one go through it. And while I hate to bring up social media within the context of a serious disorder, I’m starting to wonder if there is such a thing as social media anxiety disorder. It seemed a ridiculous thought at first, because seriously, just turn the computer off–right? But the more I entertained the thought, the more valid it started seem.

Again, I start with my usual disclaimer. I am not slamming social media. Social media is not the devil. It’s a very useful tool, from marketing to keeping in touch with friends with whom you otherwise might have lost contact, to sharing information.  And let’s not forget the girl who used Facebook to find her birth mother.

I use social media to share my blog posts, and will absolutely use it to market my book. As far as day jobs are concerned, I wouldn’t scoff at getting back into digital and social media marketing. I get it. I understand it. I truly enjoy it.  And as someone who doesn’t particularly enjoy the telephone, I’d rather communicate via the computer (which is a whole other, relatively played out, post entirely).

That said, who gets stomach butterflies (and not in the good way) upon seeing a Facebook notification? Who signs in to Twitter and immediately signs back out again because the Twitter drama is just a little much that day? Who hears that “ping!” on the mobile device (or whatever sound you have your various social media alerts set to) and immediately wonders, “What now?”

I don’t think I need to point out that people are often much more vicious online than they would ever be in person, which leads me to wonder if people are being more honest, or if they’re just being jerks, trolls, or bullies. This, of course, leads me to wonder (and often judge myself) about why in the heck I even have relationships with these people to begin with.  Is that where the anxiety comes from?  Or, is it that in an effort to not exhibit these traits myself, I second guess every last thing I post?  Unless there’s been wine, which again, is a whole other post entirely.

I’m even agonizing a little over this blog.  Is it a smart career move to speak negatively about social media experiences when I’ve just admitted to possibly wanting to get back into digital and social media marketing down the line?

I think at this point, a lot of us have a love/hate relationship with social media. I have often fantasized about deleting my accounts altogether, which is always a rather short fantasy because, in this world, not having a social media presence means there’s something wrong with you. From employers thinking you have something to hide or aren’t tech savvy enough to figure it out, to commentaries about how James Holmes didn’t have a social media presence.

As it turns out, we have to have a social media presence and it has to be pristine. It can’t show us as we are, but as we want the world to believe we are or else *insert list of crappy things people are going to say/believe about you here*. It seems that social media has become another mask we have to wear. And maybe that’s where the anxiety comes from.

Is anyone else having this feeling, or is it just me?

Update: Apparently it’s not just me.  Check out this great article from Julie Spira: Do You Suffer From Social Media Anxiety Disorder?